It looks like the snow has passed and once again we’ve survived what is the biggest threat to Torquay civilisation. While we’re all declaring each other safe, here are 10 things that are guaranteed to happen every time it snows in our little town.
Everybody talks about it on Social Media
Fortunate as we are to be blessed with warmer weather (although that’s not saying much) than the rest of the nation, this means that heavy snow is quite rare.
So as soon as our townsfolk see a drop of snowflake in the air, it’s time to crank up Facebook and tell everyone about it.
Starting with initial excitement about how pretty it is and quickly followed by the realisation that we’re probably going to be stranded for a couple of days, you can guarantee that this whole journey will be documented on social media channels.
Cars manage all the way down the motorway…Until they get to the Penn Inn
Considering that the UK gets far less snow than most countries in the Western world, we are a pretty crap country on the whole at preparing for it.
But the rest of the country hasn’t got shit on the West country.
Maybe it’s because of the coast or that the people who built our infrastructure just couldn’t be assed, but Torquay and its surrounding areas could do with a lesson on how to prepare for the snow.
Everyone Gets Pissed
Not sure whether it’s because it reminds us of Christmas, and people in Torquay love a good Christmas piss up, or because we’re probably not going to have work, but the only businesses down here that probably love this kind of weather are the pubs.
Good job the roads aren’t accessible, because there would be a lot of drink drivers if they were.
People Stock up on food as if the world is ending
Although I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed snow for longer than 2 or 3 days down here, there are always going to be the drama queens who empty the supermarket shelves.
Have a word with yourselves. This isn’t World War 3 –
Dartmoor Fight Club
This is dependent on whether or not the snow falls on a weekend, but if it does, you can guarantee fisticuffs up in Dartmoor.
Every time, someone ends up throwing a snowball and denting a car, leading to a massive gang fight in the middle of the road.
People losing their drugs
Not mentioning any names, but we all know that many people in this town have a liking for a certain white powder. Sadly, if you drop your “gear” in the snow, you’re unlikely to find it, so be extra careful if you don’t want your mates thinking you’ve ripped them off.
People only want it to clear up so the takeaways open again
Another thing I’ve noticed from social media is that people don’t seem too bothered that they can’t go out, can’t work, have to walk home or their kids have to miss precious learning time at school.
The true anger hits when they realise it’s a Friday night and the takeaways aren’t delivering.
Someone will always find a way to complain that we don’t have a Nandos
I’m scraping the bowl a little bit here as I can’t think of anything else, so I’ve thrown in the thing that annoys people from Torquay the most – we still don’t have a fucking Nandos! Maybe that bland Portuguese chicken would be able to melt the snow away and everything would be ok?
The views are pretty lovely
Despite the moaning and predictable kerfuffling that happens every time it snows down here, we are truly lucky to be from a place with such lovely views.
Some of the photos on Instagram look like postcards.
As well as having a rather picturesque town when it snows, there has also been the odd glint of kindness.
People stopping in the road to offer help, people offering lifts to others to get to work, people clearing roads by lobbing snowballs at each other….
It is in times of difficulty when the people of Torquay pull together to help each other out.
Good job the snow’s melting now, so we can go back to hating each other.